Family Games

Last weekend, we celebrated my Birthday.  And in our family, it's tradition to play a game. I chose "Password." (Similar to "Taboo.") Here's how to play.

1. Players write down names of people, places or things on individual scraps of paper.
2. These are placed in a large bowl located in the middle of the table.
3. Everyone is paired up.
4. Each partner has 45 seconds to describe what's on his paper. His partner tries to guess.

My Dad: This is too small. I can't read this. 

Nephew Logan: What colour is it?
Dad: Orange.
Logan: That's mine. (Whispers) "Halo (not an angel)."
Dad: Not a devil, but an...
Son Matt: Angel!
Dad: Yes. So...
Logan: No Grandpa. That's a clue. 
Dad: What's a clue?
Logan: (Whispers) Not an angel.
Dad:  But, you didn't write "clue" so I said, "Not a devil."
Logan: I was trying to help you.
Everyone: He was trying to help you!!!
Dad: But, I wasted my...

iPad Timer App: (Elephant trumpeting) Ahrunnnngghhhhhh!!!!!

5. If your partner guesses correctly, you take out another scrap and continue. 

Shelley: Yes!! (Opens another scrap) Not boys, but...
Sister Shannon: Girls.
Shelley: Yes! Now for the first word... ahhhh... that time of the month.
Shannon: Period.
Shelley: Along those lines. Hmm.... Grade 9 girls get it. Actually, any woman of any age can get it. They go kind of crazy.
Shannon: Menopause!
Shelley: Also a time for going crazy. But, No. In England they call it "tension."
Shannon:...
Shelley: Come on!!!! You can get this.
Shannon: Jesus Charisssst! I've had beer, wine and have a menopausal memory...
Shelley: You get teary, anxious, can't sleep...
Shannon:...
Shelley: Moody, unpredictable...
Shannon: Put that @#$%er back and get a new one.
Everyone: You can't do that!! That's cheating!!!
Shannon: Says who? 
Shelley: Everything gets blown out of proportion, you overreact to everything...
Shannon: You can't make up new rules as you go! No one said...
Shelley: Just slow down and think about it.
Shannon: I don't @#$%ing know!!! This game is so ... WAIT!!! "MPSing GIRLS!!!!!!!!!"
Shelley: Yes!!!! Who wrote "that?"
Logan:  Heh! Heh! Heh! 

Everyone: Logan!!!!!
Brother-in-law Keith: I'm going to have to take that boy for a car ride.
Logan: Mom, you didn't say it right.  It's "PMSing Girls!!!" 
Shannon: Whatever. Shelley guessed the letters. We're taking it.
Logan: But...
Shannon: We're taking it.

iPad Timer App: Ahrunnnngghhhhhh!!!!!

6. You can't say the word or part of the word when giving clues.

Shannon:  Correct. (Opens another scrap) Princess.
Shelley: Cinderella.
Shannon: No. Princess dressed in white.
Shelley: Snow White.
Shannon: YES!!!
Everyone: You said the word!!!! End of turn!!!!
Shannon: We're taking it. I forgot that rule. Menopause. Next.
Everyone: But...
Shannon: Next.

iPad Timer App: Ahrunnnngghhhhhh!!!!!

7. If clues are incorrect, but your partner guesses correctly, you keep playing.

Logan: It's a name used for seat belts before I was born.

My Mom: Safety belts.

Logan: No. A really really long time ago.

Mom:...

Logan: OK. How about this? Another word for automobile.

Mom: Car?

Logan: Yes and when you clip it it in, you clip it into a...

Mom: Car buckle?

Logan: YESSSS!!!!!!!

Mom: Can I see that? That says carbunkle. 

Logan: What the heck is that?

Mom: Like a big sore on your butt.

Everyone: Euhhhhhh!!! Who wrote that? 

Mom: Hee! Hee! Hee!

iPad Timer App: Ahrunnnngghhhhhh!!!!!

8. You cannot show the word to your partner. That's cheating.

Dad: Laid back. 

Son Matt: Laid back, sipping on gin and juice. Chill lime juice. Chevy Cavalier.

Dad: Yes!! 

Everyone: Holy cow! Matt's good!!

Dad: (Opens another scrap) Night.

Matt: Uh, Grandpa. You're showing me the...

Shannon: Waahhhhaaatttt??? Are you #%^$ing kidding me? Everyone can read that! You are so cheating. Last round you kept a scrap of paper in your hand to use for the next time.

Dad: I never cheated. I didn't know that I did that. Here, I'll just get another piece of paper.

Everyone: OMG. Cheater!

Dad: Hey, I wasn't cheating. I...

Shelley: Dad! Some advice. If you're going to cheat, don't get caught. 
Everyone: Ha! Ha! Ha!
iPad Timer App: Ahrunnnngghhhhhh!!!!!

9. In round 2 you only use one word for a clue.

Keith: Ca Chick Paskshoooooooo!!

Husband John: "Back to the Future!"

Keith: Yes! 

Matt: WHAT???? You used "flux capacitor" sounds and dad got "Back to the Future?" 

Keith: Heh! Heh! Heh!

Everyone: Ha! Ha! Ha!

Keith: (Opens another scrap) Ohnooooahhhhhhh....

John: PMSing Girls!!!!

Keith: YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!

Everyone: WHAT???!!!!
iPad Timer App: Ahrunnnngghhhhhh!!!!!

10. Also in round 2, as in round 1, you may not act out the word. 
Mom: Bram.
Logan: Bram?
Mom: Bram.
Logan: Bram? What is this Bram? Is it a thing?
Mom: Bram.
Logan: A place?
Mom: Bram.
Logan: A person?
Mom: Bram.
Logan:...

Mom: (Shows teeth) Bram.

Logan: A monkey?

Mom: (Pretends to bite Matt's neck)... 

Matt: Euuhhhhh. Grandma!! Don't touch me! 

Logan: A hungry person?

Shelley: Does anyone else see mom biting Matt's neck?

Mom: Hee! Hee! Hee!

Everyone: You can't act out the word!

Logan: I still don't get it.

Mom: It's Dracula.

Logan: Dracula? 

Everyone: You can't say the word!!!

iPad Timer App: Ahrunnnngghhhhhh!!!!!

Mom: It doesn't matter now. The elephant trumpeted.

Everyone: It does matter. You said "Dracula."

Logan: Dracula? What does a Bram have to do with Dracula?

Mom: Who knew what Bram was.

Everyone: I did. I didn't. What is Bram? How did you...

Matt: Oh for @#$%'s sake. I'm downloading the "Password" App. for 95 cents.

It's Keith's Birthday next week. Can't wait to see what game he'll choose.

Shelley and John

                      

                                 

Who Needs new Friends?

Andrew, Shelley, Cathy, Rob, Toni, John
Tod, Jin, Matt

"I'm so @#$ing hot!" 

And the Mullen- Smith friendship, spanning 20 years, had begun. (Forgive the profanity, but it was in the sweltering, unbearable 40 degree July heat of Bangkok.)  Last weekend, the Mullens visited us in the Comox Valley. I am pleased to report that our friendship is as strong as ever. Here's why...

Shelley, Rob, Toni, Matt, Jin, Kristie and Charlie                        

No one is rude...
Shelley (Me): Yayyyy!!! TONIIII!!!!!! ROBBIE!!!!!!! How are you? How was the trip? Did you catch up with Matt during the car ride?
Matt (My son): That would have been nice, mom, considering I drove up Island in a hurricane. But, no, Toni slept, while Robbie (mimes snapping a newspaper wide open in front of his face) read the whole way. Right roomie? (On two separate occasions, Matt lived with the Mullens in Kuala Lumpur.)
Rob Mullen: Woahh Matt. That's not true. It took me three and a half minutes to read that rag. Besides, it's not my fault if the Missus dropped some Zanex and napped the entire way.
Toni Mullenb: Rob! I didn't nap the entire way.
Matt:  Rob, that's true, "if" you count the one time Toni woke up yelling and waving her arms in front of my face, because she thought we were in an accident.
Rob: Jesus Christ Toni, we are not coming back here again. They're so @#$%ing rude to us.

We never bust each others' balls...

Robbie: Andrew (My son). Good to talk to you... How am I doing?...

                               

Well, your mother made me cook on my first night... BTW I don't think she's been in the kitchen since I visited 8 years ago... She couldn't tell me where anything was... Now your family has me playing games... No, not charades... Apples to Apples... If I knew Charades was in the mix, I wouldn't have gotten in the car... Speaking of cars, too bad about Matt hitting that girl's bumper... What? No, I never damaged your van when I used to nudge it at stop lights. It was a tap... Jesus Christ Toni, we are not coming back here again. Andrew, who is not even here, is busting my balls.

Everyone helps out...

Toni: Robbie, are you asleep?

Rob: How can I be asleep with all of you @#$%ing talking?

Toni: Robbie!

John (my husband): Oh no. It's raining. Shelley, when I stop, jump out and get the shoes out of the truck bed.
Shelley: No. I'll get wet.
Matt, Toni:...
Rob: I'll do it John. Jesus Christ Toni, we are not coming back here again. They're too @#$%ing lazy to help out.

No one complains...

Robbie: Ah Jesus Johnnie! I'm so @#$%ing cold, my hands are numb. 

Shelley: Robbie, you chose Mt. Washington over a beach walk. 

Rob: You didn't tell me it would be 7 degrees. What is that in real temperatures?

John: About 44 degrees.

Rob: On the fourth of July? Jesus Christ Toni, we are not coming back here again. It's too @#$%ing cold.

New additions to our families are welcomed...

Jin (Mullen's son): This is Charlie. Aren't you? Tickle. Tickle.  My little baby. Kiss. Kiss Kiss. Go to mommy now.
Kristie (Jin's wife): Here Charlie. Come to mommy. Here you are. Oh you! Kiss. Kiss Kiss.

John: Charlie, the dingo ate my baby.
Matt: Dad, I think you're mixing your quotes.
Shelley: Charlie. Where's my baby, Charlie?

Everyone: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Matt: Hey. That dog's not your baby. Maybe you guys should have a real one.
John: Charlie, the dingo took my baby.
Matt: Nope. Still not right.
Rob: Jesus Christ Toni. We're not coming back here again. The Smiths want us to be the first grand parents.

Guests always get the best gear...

Toni: Is the inside of my boat supposed to be this wet? I think my boat is leaking. Maybe even sinking.

Robbie: Ahh @#$%! My money and my CD list are wet. Jesus Christ Toni, we are not coming back here again. Once again, they gave us the crappy boats. 

Everyone gets resepect...

Toni: In my next life, I want to be a broadway dancer, so I can dance every day.

Shelley: What about you Robbie? What will you come back as?
Toni: (whispers) An asshole.
Rob: Toni, you are being unpleasant. You haven't been nice to me for the last two months.

We've had conversations about this.

Toni: Not with me.

Everyone: Ha! Ha! Ha!

Rob: A musician.

Matt: A musician??? Why? You go to concerts and don't even get up. You look like this.    

Rob: Matt, I don't need to dance to enjoy the music. I like to sit and appreciate it. Let it flow over me.
Matt: Like this?
Everyone: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Matt: Still roomies, Rob? Do I still have a room?
Rob: Toni. Don't give Matt our new address in England. And, if he does find out, he can sleep on the floor in the kitchen.
Matt: Hi. I'm Robbie. Look at me. I'm enjoying the Stones.

Everyone: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Rob: Jesus Christ Toni, we are not coming back here again. They're disrespectful.

Everyone stays focussed on the big picture...
Rob: "Spiderman" was great. What did you think Matt?

Rob: Hey watch out for my red wine! You're going to spill it!

Rob: @#$%!!! "I" just spilled red wine all over the white leather couch and my green shirt.

Everyone: (Rushes around grabbing rags and cleaners.) Go! Go! Go!
Rob: Jesus Christ Toni, we are not coming back here again. I just ruined my favourite shirt. I think I am going to have to throw it out!

Everyone is polite to each other...
Rob: Toni, there's your computer. Don't forget it. (Whispers) I've got to tell her that, because I think the old girl is loosing her memory. (Swirls finger around ear)
Toni: Robbie, can you help me find my hair brush?

Rob: (Whispers some more) Thirty years. Thirty years of marriage. (Normal voice) Where was it last?

Toni: If I knew that, I wouldn't have lost it.

Rob:(Whispers even more) See. This is my cross to bear. (Looks under the bathroom sink) Is this it? 

Toni: I thought I looked there.
Rob: What about this shampoo and conditioner?

Shelley: That's for guests.

John: Shelley. You know what the Mullens are like. Check their bags before they leave. They might steal stuff. 

Everyone: Ha! Ha! Ha!

Rob: Jesus Christ Toni, we are not coming back here again. Apparently, it's OK to insult your guests.

As you know from my older posts:

http://honeydidyouseethat.blogspot.ca/2012/05/how-to-make-friends-part-1.html
http://honeydidyouseethat.blogspot.ca/2012/05/how-to-make-friends-part-2-take-zumba.html
http://honeydidyouseethat.blogspot.ca/2012/05/how-to-make-friends-part-3-play-rugby.html

we have tried to make friends in the Comox Valley. But who needs new friends, when you've got the Mullens?

Shelley and John

Happy 145th Birthday Canada

If it wasn't for my Grade 1 teacher,  I would not be the patriot I am today.

Grade 1 Teacher: That's right Suzy. Patriotism does mean loving your country. And of course Sally, it also means being devoted and loyal to your country. Yes, I do see your hand waving in the air, Shelley, but Suzy and Sally have thoroughly explained patriotism. Now class, one of the first steps of becoming patriotic, is to be able to sing our unofficial National Anthem, "Oh Canada." If you do know the anthem, please go the front of the class.

Shelley: (Races to the front)

Teacher:.... Is there anyone else who knows our anthem?... Anyone?... Ahhh Suzy and Sally. Thank you for volunteering. Thank you so much. So very much. Why don't you girls join Shelley?

Suzy and Sally: (Rise, as one, and glide to the front of the class. Perfect. From their blonde "not a hair out of place" to their black shiny patent leather shoes.)

Teacher: Now Shelley, are you sure you know all of the words? Because...

Shelley: Yes, Miss.

Teacher: And, you can sing the entire anthem? Otherwise...

Shelley: Yes, Miss.

Teacher: Otherwise, it's OK if you would like to change your mind and sit down. Maybe...
Shelley: No, Miss,
Teacher: Maybe, the twins can sing the anthem with you. That way...

Shelley: No, Miss.

Teacher: .... Of course not. What was I thinking? Well then, why don't you go ahead?

Shelley: (Pauses. Coughs delicately. Makes sure all eyes are on her. Begins with a whisper.) Oh Canada. (Louder) Oh Canada! (Louder still) Oh Oh Ca-na-da! (Yelling ) OH CANADA!!!
 (SCREAMS) OH! OH! OH! CA-NA-DA!!!!!...

Teacher: Thank you Shelley. That was very nice.

Shelley: I'm not done yet.

Teacher: Oh, I "am" sorry. Please finish. 

Shelley: (Looks down... looks up through her eye lashes, takes a deep breath and continues with the lowest note she can find) Oh! Canada! Oh! Canada! (Finds the highest note she is capable of) Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Canada!!!! (and remarkably finds an even higher note) OH! OH! CA-NA-DA!!!!!  CA-NA-DAAAAAA!!!!! 

Teacher and class:...

Shelley: Thank you. (The patriot returns to her seat.)

Please play on low volume as you finish reading:

46 years on, I am still as patriotic as ever. So, on Sunday, my family and friends joined John and I, to celebrate Canada Day.

We hiked,

played frisbee golf,

sledded,

                                 
                                    
                                    

white water kayaked,

Ha!  Ha! Kidding. You've got to be crazy to do that!!!!

played football,

biked,

 played basketball,

and bocce, for a total of 

7 activities!!!!!!!!!

Now that's patriotism!

Shelley and John