We send daily prayers now. No, not for those less fortunate than ourselves, but for a pull through campsite. For those who have never backed up a 2500 GMC, 4 wheel, 6 gear, short box, Duramax truck attached to a 24 ft. Citation RV “HOUSE” with flipped axels 42 feet long, you will never understand.
My brother, Shenley has demonstrated the correct technique. We have searched youtube and know that swooping is the correct technique. We even practiced the correct technique in a vacant parking lot. It doesn’t matter because when it is time to back up, we are absolutely, unbelievably, embarrassingly hopeless.. Here is a typical backing up experience.
Shelley/John:... Amen.
Shelley/John: %#$@! There are no pull throughs.
John: How far is it to the next campsite?
Shelley: Too far, we have to stay here.
Shelley/John: %#$@! There are no pull throughs.
Shelley: Baby, don’t panic. Let’s just drive around to see if there are any really big sites so we don’t take out branches like last time.
John: And I am not backing up in front of a crowd. I hate being the comedy show.
Shelley: Relax. Don’t stress.
John: I hate it when you tell me to do that.
Shelley: Ok. Ok. Here is one. Remember to swoop. I’ll get out and guide you. Ok, turn this way. (Hand gestures)
John: (Backing up slowly) Ok?
Shelley: (Hand Gestures) No, stop.
John: What did I do wrong?
Shelley: You went back ok, but in the wrong direction.
John: Ok, I will go forward and try again. (Backing up slowly) Ok?
Repeat above 5 to 6, even more times. Know that people have been arriving steadily during this time. Some just stand there and smile. Some openly laugh (%#$@!ers), and some call out advice.
Shelley: (HAND GESTURES) NO! STOP!!
John: I CAN”T SEE YOU!!!!!
Shelley: (GESTURING WITH BOTH HANDS AND FINGERS - INAPPROPRIATELY) CAN YOU SEE THIS?
John: WHAT? WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Shelley: TRY THE SWOOP?
John: TRY THIS! (GESTURING WITH BOTH HANDS AND FINGERS - INAPPROPRIATELY)
Shelley: WHAT? WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?
John: JESUS CHRIST SHELLEY!!!! JUST TELL ME WHAT DIRECTION YOU WANT ME TO GO IN!!!!!!!!
Shelley: ARE YOU SWEARING AT ME? WTF? I AM JUST TRYING TO HELP. WHY DON’T YOU TRY IT ALL BY YOURSELF IT YOU ARE SO @#$@$ing CAPABLE. WHAT ABOUT THAT YOU @#$@$ing!!!!
Eventually we do back in, bow and wave to the crowd, reconfirm our everlasting love and agree that if we added “those less fortunate than ourselves” to our prayers, we might get a pull through next time.
Shelley and John
