Black Friday? Walmart? Guns? Pepper Spray? Pass Thanks

Last year, my husband, John and I hit the Palm Springs Walmart at 11:30 pm on Black Friday. Although we had never participated in a Black Friday before, we were prepared for crazy. Luckily, our crowd was pretty subdued. 

However, things were not so calm at other Walmarts around the US. At the Myrtle Beach Walmart, a woman was shot in the foot by robbers outside the store. In the Port Ranch Walmart, a female shopper, who had lined up for over an hour and a half, pepper sprayed 19 other customers. She was the first person to get an Xbox. Prior to the attack, she told a security guard that she had pepper spray. He did not take if from her, nor notify management. 

I “know” what I would have done if someone pulled a gun or a can of pepper spray on me. 

Scenario One

Robber: Give me your bags or I will shoot you in the foot.

Me: OK. 

Scenario Two

Crazy Woman With Pepper Spray: Get out of my way. Although I’m #20 in line and guaranteed an Xbox, I can’t take a chance. Move, or I will spray you in both eyes.

Me: OK. 

But that is what a sane person would do. What about those 19 people who didn’t move? What in God’s name was wrong with them? For an Xbox???

Tell you what, I am going to give the first 13 in line a break because people surged forward. They were probably too shocked to move or, maybe they were pushed up against something or someone. But for the final 6, what were you thinking?

For #14 was it? “Oh No! She just pepper sprayed 13 people. Maybe she’ll skip me. Yeouchhhh!”

For #15 did he think? “Holy crap! Maybe if I can just cover my eyes with my sun glasses I will still be able to get my X.... Owwww!!”

#16 and #17, did they have this unspoken mutual understanding? “Hey! Let’s link arms! Do not let go! Two is better than.... Eowwwww!!!!! Our eyes!”

I wonder if #18 was hoping? “I’m good. She must be out of spray by now. Ahhhhhh!!!! That B@$#%!!!!!!!”

And finally #19. Seriously? Seriously. He could have grabbed an Xbox and bolted long before she reached him. But, he stayed. The only reason I can think of is, maybe he was soooo confident, he just thought, “If that crazy ass woman comes near me, I will shoot her, in the foot, with my gun I bought here last Black Friday. Oh no. I left my gun in the ...... Wahhhhhhh!!! Why you crazy ass!!”

And what about Walmart? How was she allowed to pay for her Xbox before she was thrown out? Did the Security Guard say to the boss? “Come on boss. Let her pay. She obviously really wanted it.” 

And did the boss thoughtfully reply? “Fine, but cash only. We are not taking a 3% hit on the Visa transaction.”

Shelley and John

Black Friday Training Tips

Last week my husband, John, and I put maximum effort into every activity. During hikes, heart monitors were used and continuously checked. The bike ride was 21 miles around a lake, in desert heat. 

Tennis games lasted over two hours. Sprints, leaps and jumps were added to the running workout. Wrestling was considered, but immediately rejected, as my parent’s condo is on the second floor.  

Why?

Because…..

Black Friday is only 2 days away! And the Smiths have never been! This post Thanksgiving Day ridiculous price slashing sales event begins at midnight. We saw the videos and heard the stories. We knew what we would be up against. We needed to be prepared. We are prepared!!! ARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

However, since arriving in the Palm Spring’s area, I have been a little disappointed. I know it’s a good thing that the Xmas list will be filled, but feel it just won’t be as much fun as anticipated. In fact, we might have over trained, because the average age here is, oh, 75.  I know this because we went to Bingo last night at our RV Park . The old boy playing next to me said he was 88 years old. 

88!!! 

He wore glasses with coke bottle lenses, took about 10 minutes to sit down and his shuffling speed was about a ½ mile per hour. 

“This” is my competition. 

John has tried to cheer me up. He told me, “Chin up. Don’t ever underestimate the “Blue Hairs.” They are on a fixed income. Look, I’ll bring the camera just in case. “ 

Sigh. 

Shelley and John