How to Stay Happily Married Tip #6 Be Patient

John wanted to be in Palm Springs. By noon. 
10:30
Shelley: Why don't we sort out my glasses first and then take care of the tires? It won't take long.
What John thinks: "That" is not true. But, she's a little rattled from working on the accounts this morning. Ahhh...
What John says: Great idea.
10:40
Shelley: Hi. I'm Shelley and I need a new pair of glasses. 
Lyndon: Hey. I'm Lyndon.  Do you want to put the new lenses in the old frames?
Shelley: Oh I wish but, I lost them. Just my luck that they were the expensive, progressive ones. 
What John thinks: Noooooo!!! She's going to chat. Please be a no nonsense, non-chatty, kind of salesman.
What John says: Hi.
Lyndon: That is some seriously bad luck. What happened? 
What John thinks: And here we go.

What John says: I'll just sit over here.

Shelley: Well, we were visiting the National White Sands Monument and the next thing I knew, they were gone. We tried to find them, but, (blah blah blah)......
Lyndon: I've never been to (blah blah blah)......
What John thinks: 

What John says: (Nothing. There's no point.)

10:50
Lyndon: Let me show you some frames.
Shelley: OK. But I'm going to warn you that I'm on a strict financial budget, so they can't be too pricey.
What John thinks: But apparently not on a strict time budget. 20 minutes and she hasn't even started. 
What John says: Don't rush. I'll just read this.

Shelley: John, what about these?

What John thinks: Nice.
What John says: Nice.
Shelley: Oh... I just don't know. These?

What John thinks: Also Nice?

What John says: Nice.

Shelley: Ummm. Just not sure. These?

What John thinks: Jesus Christ, Shelley. They all look the same. Just pick a pair and we can still be at the garage to get the new tires by 11:00.

What John says: Take your time. I don't want you to be unhappy with them.
11:00
Lyndon: Shelley, I know that you've tried on only black. But, some people like their glasses to be more neutral. Try these.

Shelley: Look at this hair. Do you really think I worry about being  neutral?
Shelley and Lyndon: Ha! Ha! Ha!

What John thinks: They're killing me.
What John says: I'll just get my book. 

11:10
Shelley: Oh Lyndon, I just can't make up my mind. What about something way out there? Just for fun.
Lyndon: I have just the thing. Wait here....
What John thinks: ( No. Dear. God. No.)
Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! You "have" to put a pair on with me. John, take our picture? Aren't these hysterical?
What John thinks: (*#$%ing hysterical)
What John says: Hysterical.

11:20
Shelley: I just don't know. Can I try on that first black pair again?
Lyndon: Of course. John, would you like some pistachios?
What John thinks: (Of course I would. It's lunchtime)
What John says: Thank you.
11:25
Shelley: It's down to the red or the black. Which ones?

What John thinks:(I don't care.)
What John says: The red. Definitely the red.
Shelley: It's settled then. I'll take the black ones.

11:30
Shelley: Wasn't that fun? 
What John thinks: Un@#%ing believably fun.
What John say: Wasn't it just?


Shelley and John