Heat Wave on Vancouver Island? Give me a Break.

                                        

Hmmmmmm....a blog about a heat wave on Vancouver Island. That's a tough one, as today, June 26th,  it was only 18 degrees (64.4 fahrenheit). The last time we had a heat wave, in the Comox Valley, was in the summer of 2009. I remember it like it was yesterday. (Actually that's not quite true, so, there are definitely a few embellishments coming up...)

First night...

Shelley: Holy Crap! I can't sleep. It's too hot. Are you asleep?

John: Not now.

Shelley: Did you open the windows?

John: Yes.

Shelley: The doors?

John: Yes.

Shelley:.....

John:....

Shelley: That's it. Tomorrow we're buying fans.

Second night...

Shelley: Holy S@#$!!! I still can't sleep. It's still too bloody hot. Euhhh. The sheets are sticking to me. Can you believe we paid 60 dollars for each of those "top of the line," useless pieces of @#$ fans? John? John! Are you asleep?

John: Not now.

Shelley:..... 

John:....

Shelley: That's it. Tomorrow we're buying a ceiling fan.

Third night...

Shelley: Holy S@#$!!! I still can't @#$%ing sleep! It's too hot. I'm too sweaty, Can you believe we paid 400 dollars for that useless piece of @#$!! ceiling fan? That was money well spent. John? John! Are you asleep? 

John: Not now. 

Shelley:....

John:....

Shelley: That's it. Tomorrow we're buying a portable air con. unit.

Fourth night...

Shelley: Holy S@#$!!!  I haven't slept for three @#$%ing nights! It's too @!#$ing hot!!! There's water pouring off of me. Can you believe we paid 450 dollars for that useless piece of @#$!! portable air con. unit? And to top it all off, it sounds like a semi truck is roaring through our bedroom. John? John! Are you asleep?

John: Not now.

Shelley:....

John:.....

Shelley: That's it. We're buying the same kind of wall air con. units we have in Asia.

Fifth night...

Shelley: Holy S@#$!!! It's too @!#$ing hot!!! There's a pool of water under me. We should have paid the 3,500 dollars to put in the air con. But "Oh no" it's too expensive. So, here we are, in the @!#$ing living room, on a @#$ing air bed that has no @#$ing air, still sweating our @#$ing @!#$s off. You know what,  I don't care if we have to delay retirement to pay for it. I DON'T CARE IF THE HEAT WAVE IS SUPPOSED TO END TOMORROW!! I'M HOT!!! I CAN'T SLEEP!!!  THAT @#$%ING AIR CON. IS GOING IN TOMORROW!!! JOHN? JOHN! DON'T EVEN PRETEND TO BE ASLEEP!!

John:....

Shelley:....

John:...
Shelley:  Tomorrow. First thing.

Sixth Night...

Shelley: Holy S@#$!!! I can't sleep. It's too cold. John? John! Are you asleep?

Shelley and John

Canada's Future Women's Soccer 2024 Olympian - Toronto Part 2

As you know from our previous blog, "What's the Weather Like in Toronto Part 1?"

http://honeydidyouseethat.blogspot.ca/2012/06/whats-weather-like-in-toronto-part-1.html

we have been visiting my brother, Spencer, wife Jenny, daughter's Taylor (2) and Mia (7 months) in  Toronto.

Proud Daddy Spencer: See that group over there. "Apparently," that's the higher level.  Can you believe they rank 2 year olds? But, that's OK. Taylor's goal is to move up. Right Taylor? Show Uncle John and Auntie Shelley how you play soccer. Lots of energy now.

Taylor: Daddy, I need a snack.

Spencer: OK. But not until after you practice...
Taylor:...

Spencer:... Or right now's good too. OK. Off you go. Go get 'em!

Shelley, John, Spencer: Yayyy! Taylor!

Spencer: She just scored. She's talented eh?

Shelley and John: You bet she is! Go Taylor!!!

Taylor: Daddy! I need a drink. Daddy! Daddy!

Spencer: Here you go. OK Taylor, time to stretch. Look how she follows directions. She's a really good listener, eh?

Shelley and John: You bet she is! Go Taylor!!!
Spencer: I don't even have to sit with her like other parents do. She's really independent, eh?
Shelley and John: You bet she is! Go Taylor!!!
John: Ah, isn't she playing with the grass?
Spencer: Shoot. Sure hope there aren't any scouts out here today. She's not as focused right now. Ha! Ha! Doesn't matter, stretching is over rated. OK here we go. Watch her in this drill. Thatta girl Taylor!!!!  Look how fast she is. She just passed everyone. Ha! Ha! She's fast, eh?
Shelley and John: You bet she is! Go Taylor!!!
Spencer: Oh no, her sun hat's slowing her down. I've got this. Taylor. Taylor! Daddy get your hat!

Taylor: I need a "daddy" drink.
Spencer: OK. But after your practice. OK Taylor? Or right now's good too.  Hey, where are you going? Come back. The drill's started. Taylor? Taylor! There you go. Stomp the blue berries. (Purple cones) She's a great blue berry stomper, eh?

Shelley and John: You bet she is! Go Taylor!!!

Taylor: Daddy! Daddy! Did you see how fast I was?

Spencer: I sure did. You were...

Taylor:  I need to pee.

Spencer: Hang on. Hang on...

Taylor: (Runs back) Auntie Shelley! Auntie Shelley! This flower is for my mommy.

Shelley: What a lovely flower. Should we put it in the snack bag?
Taylor: Ah huh.

Spencer: Taylor. No. You just peed on that flower. Don't put it in the snack bag. It's dirty. Drop it on the grass Taylor... or...  OK leave it in the bag.

Taylor: Mommy. Mommy! MOMMY!!!!!!!! Hi mommy! Hi mommy! Hi mommy! Hi! mommy!

Jenny: Hey Taylor. Are you doing a good job?

Taylor: Ah huh. I need "daddy" juice. Hi Mia Mia! Hi Mia Mia! I need "daddy juice."
Mia: Mwo mwo bahh bahhh....

Spencer: That's daddy's Gatorade. Wait until after practice. OK Taylor? ... Or right now's good too. 

Taylor: My mommy. I want to kiss Mia. (Kiss kiss)
Mia: Mwo mwo bahh bahhh....
Spencer: OK Taylor. Your turn.

Taylor: Mommy watch me.
Taylor: (Little boy takes Taylor's ball. Taylor stands there.)
Coach: That's OK Taylor. You can kick his ball.
Spencer, Jenny, Shelley and John: That's OK Taylor. You can kick his ball!!!
Mia: Mwo mwo bahh bahhh....

Spencer: (Picks up Taylor. Swings Taylor's legs at the ball. Taylor scores.)
Everyone: Yayyy!! Taylor.
Mia: Mwo mwo bahh bahhh....
Taylor and Spencer: How much lonnnnger? I'm ti-red. I need "daddy juice."
Jenny: It's time. But first you need to help the coaches put away the equipment, sit down in the "thank you" circle, thank your coaches, get your sticker and then we'll leave... Go. Now. Both of you. 

Shelley and John

http://honeydidyouseethat.blogspot.ca/2012/06/whats-weather-like-in-toronto-part-1.htmlhttp://honeydidyouseethat.blogspot.ca/2012/06/whats-weather-like-in-toronto-part-1.html

Wild Things or Sisters Gone Wild

On our way to watch our nephew, Dan, play lacrosse, we stopped at the 

Sea Cider Farm & Ciderhouse - Saanichton, BC

to check out Andrew and Ash's wedding venue. 

Our nephew Logan

 We couldn't possibly leave 

until we sampled 

some ciders. 

Nine of them 

 in all.

We arrived with plenty of time to cheer...
Opposing team's parents: Let's go boys! You can do this!

Shelley: Hey! Shannon. Since we've been to the Cider House for a cider tasting and don't care how loud we are, let's out cheer them.
Shannon: You're right. I'll yell "One Two Three" Everyone else you yell, "Blue! Blue! Blue!" Got it?
Everyone: Got it!
Shannon: One! Two! Three!
Everyone: Blue! Blue! Blue! Whoop! Whoop! Yay!

Brother Shenley, Sister-in-law Marina, Husband John, Shelley, Sister Shannon, Nephew Logan, Brother-in-law, Keith

Shelley: Hey! Shannon. There's Dan. Do you think he sees us?
Shannon and Shelley: Hey Dan! Go Dan! Go get 'em Dan. DAN! YOOHOOOOO!!!!!  YAAAAYYYYY!!!!! DAN!!!!!!!!!!
Shannon: WT? Holy Christ. Did they choose the biggest kid on purpose to be goalie?
Shenley: Not really. He's smaller than Dan.
Shannon: I think he's huge. Wait a sec. What's going on? That goalie's thingamadooddies are bigger than our goalie's thingamadooddies!
Shelley: What's that about? Right Shannon?
Shannon: Right! Whoah! Ouch! Did you just see that? Hey! That can't be fair! Is that legal, John?
John: I've no idea. I don't know the game.
Shenley: It's legal.
Shannon:  You're kidding me. I don't... Yeouchhhh! Owww! That's got to hurt. Shenley, what kind of parents are you to let Dan play this game?
Shenley: Did you see the size of Dan?
Everyone: Yayyyy! Blue just scored!! Tied game!!
Shannon: That was wild! Ha! Ha! Ha! I was saving that one. High Five. Yeeeiiikkkes!!!  That guy was just hit on the head. With a stick. Penalty. Hey! REF!! PENALTY!
Marina: He wasn't hit on the head.
Shannon: Yes he was. I saw him get hit on the head.
Marina: I don't t think he was hit on the head.
Shelley: Definitely he was hit on the head. Right Shannon?
Shannon: Right. Definitely he was hit on the head. REF! HEY REFFEREE!! YOU NEED TO CALL THAT!!!
Marina: (Whispering) What's wrong with your sisters?

Shenley: Not much. Just classic Orr sister behaviour when they get together. Sit back and enjoy.
Shannon and Shelley: OMG! Can you imagine what it would have been like if we had those sticks growing up? Brutal!!!
Shannon: Take that! Whack! Bonk!
Shelley: OWWW!!! You just hit me on the head with that stick! Why you little... Whack! Whack! Bonk! Bonk!
Shelley and Shannon: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Opponents' parents: Yayyy! Goal!! Tied game!

Shelley: Hey Shannon. Time for a cheer.

Shannon: I've got this. One! Two! Three!

Shannon: THINGS GONE WILD!!!! 
at the same time as...

Everyone else: Wild! Wild! Wild!

Shelley: Hey Shannon.You changed it.
Shannon: I know. I thought i'd throw it in. Get it?
Shannon and Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Shannon: Where did this game come from?

Shenley: The First Nations.

Shannon: Really?
Shenley: Yep. It's Canada's National sport.
Shannon: Hmmmm. Must keep that in mind for future reference.
Shannon: Let's go Bluuueuhhh! Shoot. Shoot! SHOOT!!!!  SHOOT!!!! What's going on? John, why aren't they shooting?

John: I have no idea. I don't know the game.
Shenley: They're killing the penalty. OK, penalty's over. They'll shoot now.
Logan: Auntie Shelley. Mom never cheered like this at my swim meets.
Keith: That's because this is the perfect venue for your mom to yell all she wants.
Shannon: Isn't it funny that when I played the drums at that pub, everyone was all bent out of shape. Here everyone loves it.
Shelley: "I" loved you on the drums.
Shannon and Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Shannon: Jesus. What kind of shot is that? John. Why do they keep shooting right at the goalie's chest?
John: I have no idea. I don't know the game.
Marina: They're aiming for the corners.
Shannon: Why don't they do the bouncy thingy? The bouncy thingy is definitely a better way to score.
Shelley: Hey Shannon. You should text the coach and tell him that.
Shannon: I just might.

Everyone: Goal. Yayyyyy!!!!  We're winning by one goal!!

Shannon: Wild! Wild! Wild! Hey!??? Referee!!! Nothing wrong with that! John, what was that  whistle for?

John: I have no idea. I don't know the game.

Shenley: It's called interference.

Shelley: Hey Shannon. Did you see that?

Shannon: I sure did. HEY!!!! Three whites on one blue.  REF!!! You need to call that. I know that rule. It’s called interference. INTERFERENCE REF!!!

Everyone: 10, 9, 8, 7,6,5,4,3,2,1 YAYYY!!!!!! WE  WON!!!!!!  ON TO THE FINALS!!!

Shannon: Good thing we won. Otherwise I would have had to go and speak to the ref. about missing that interference call. Boy, If I had known watching lacrosse was so much fun, I would have gone to all of the games.

Gold Medal Winner Dan

Shelley and John

Oh Canada Where's Your Sense of Humour?

CRA Man: Canada Revenue Agency. How can I help you?
Shelley (me) : I'm calling to change my date of birth. I've been informed by RBC that your records are incorrect.
CRA Man: Before I can open your file, I need to match at least 3 pieces of information from the following list: Name, SIN number, birthdate and address. What is your name?
Shelley: Shelley _____
CRA Man: What is your social insurance number?
Shelley: It's _________.

CRA Man: Correct. What is your birth date?

Shelley: But, that's why I'm phoning you. You're records aren't correct. So, I don't know what your records say.

CRA Man: In order for me to proceed, your response must match our current records.

Shelley: OK. OK. 1960? No. That's the correct one. 1959?

CRA Man: Both are incorrect.

Shelley: Higher or lower? 

CRA Man: I am not authorized to tell you.
Shelley: 1958? '57? Wait. I think I've got it! 1961? Yes. That's it. My final answer is 1961.
CRA Man: That is incorrect.

Shelley: Oh man, you are killing me. But.... Never mind. Maybe this will work. I have my 2011 tax records right here in front of me. What if I...

CRA Man: I can't see them from here. 

Shelley: Ha! Ha! Ha! If you could, you'd have super powers! Right?

CRA Man:...
Shelley: Like Superman... or is it Spider Man?
CRA Man:...

Shelley: ... No? Not so much? .... Hmmm... What else can we do?

CRA Man: What is your address?
Shelley: It's _______ Courtenay, BC.
CRA Man: I'm sorry. That address does not match our records.
Shelley: Really? It hasn't changed since we moved back to Canada.
CRA Man: Where did you live prior to Canada?
Shelley: Japan.
CRA Man: What was your address in Japan?
Shelley: 1-1-1 Fu Chu Shi, Tokyo, Japan.
CRA Man: I'm sorry. That address does not match our records. What was your address before you left Canada?
Shelley: OMG. I'm not sure. It's been 25 years. But, I do know that the last town we lived was in Port- Aux-Basques, Newfoundland.

CRA: I'm sorry. Port- Aux-Basques does not match our records.
Shelley: Flower's Cove, Newfoundland?
CRA Man: I'm sorry. Flower's Cove...
Shelley: Selkirk, Manitoba?
CRA Man: Both do not match our records.

Shelley: How far back should I go?
CRA Man: I am not authorized to tell you.
Shelley: 30 years? 35? 40? Wait. How many guesses do I have left? I don't want to waste them.
CRA Man:...
Shelley: Come on!  Am I getting warmer or colder?
CRA Man: I don't think you are taking this seriously. 

Shelley: Oh, but I am. I'm just not sure what to do. Can you give me a hint? Does the address have anything to do with the date my SIN card was issued? Give me something!
CRA Man: M'am. To protect you, and all of the citizens of Canada, I am not allowed to give you any information.
Shelley: Just one hint. Please. Just one little bitty hint.
CRA Man:... Fine.  I am going out on a limb here, you need to give me a post box number.
Shelley: A post box number? From over 30 years ago? Are you kidding me?
CRA Man:...
Shelley: You're not...Ahhh...... I'm going to have to go with 531.

CRA Man: No.
Shelley: No? Hmmm.... How about my favourite number 600,343,357,899? Mmpphhh.... Oh Ha! Ha! Ha!

CRA Man: I'm glad that you are finding this funny.
Shelley: Higher or lower? Hee! Hee! Ha! Ha! Ha!
CRA Man:  Ma'm I am trying to help you.
Shelley: Right... Right. I really am sorry. But, it was a long time ago. You know, I can barely remember my current address. Menopause does amazing things to your memory. If you knew someone who has menopause, you would appreciate what I'm saying.

CRA Man:...
Shelley: .....Look. You've been very patient with me. But, unless you want me to keep guessing, we are not going to get any where. What else can we do?
CRA Man: ...
Shelley: Please. I was wrong for treating this matter lightly. So wrong.
CRA Man:...

Shelley: And disrespectful ... which was uncalled for. Because you are only doing your job. Please.
CRA Man: ... OK. Here's what you need to do...

Shelley and John

How to Stay Happily Married Tip # 9 Support Your Spouse

Second in his age group.

John and Andrew are competing in a Tough Mudder Competition at the end of June. To prepare, John entered a 10k race a couple of weeks ago. As a loving, supportive wife, I entered too ( even though I haven't ran that far in 8 years.) Not going to lie, it was pretty awful after 7kms. Placing first in my age group, (Don't get too excited. The woman who placed first in the older age group, beat me by 8 minutes) made up for the pain, though.  So much so, that I agreed to run again last Sunday...

0:00:00

Shelley: There are less people here compared to last week. Wonder why?
What John Says: I heard some guy say that Tough Mudder is really tough compared to this.
Shelley: Wonder why? Looks like the course goes around the lake, so it should be nice and flat. Maybe, because it might rain?
What John Says: Must be. Or you'll kill me. Right?
Shelley: Right.
Shelley and John: Oh Ha! Ha! Ha!
Race Starter: OK everybody. There are 2 routes, a 10K and a 6K. The 10K is on a single track. No walkers or runners with strollers. It'll take too long to finish.
Shelley: Too bumpy for them. Right?
What John Says: Right.
Race Starter: Ready. Set. Go!

John and Shelley: (Smooch) Good luck!

0:3:00...
What John Thinks: That's funny. The girl who beat me last week, by five minutes, is way behind me. Wonder why?

What Shelley Thinks: That's funny. The girl who beat me last week, by 10 minutes, is just ahead of me. Wonder why?

0:4:00...
What John Thinks: There's the turn for the 6km. route.
Shelley: There's the turn for the 6km. route. Tempting, but, I am not from Quittersville.

0:5:00...
What John Thinks: Straight up? Great idea.

What Shelley Thinks: STRAIGHT UP!!!!?????  Whose great idea was this?

0:10:00...
What John Thinks: More up? Tough, but definitely doable.
What Shelley Thinks: More up? You're kidding me. This is not a road race. This is a running expedition to the top of a mountain. 

0:15:00...
What John Thinks: If I hop over the roots and trees, I think I can keep my pace.

What Shelley Thinks:  Seriously? Seriously. Roots and trees?

 0:20:00...
What John Thinks: Once the trail widens, I'll pass those three in front of me and pick up the pace.
What Shelley Thinks: If I can just get a little closer to this guy, I think I can draft off him.

0:25:00...
What John Thinks: Feeling good! Nah Nah Nah Nah! Like I know that I would now. So good. Buh. Buh. So good Buh. Buh. Buh. Buh. ....
What Shelley Thinks: @#$%! @#$%! @#$%! @#$%!

0:30:00...
What John Thinks: Whew. All down hill from here. Get it? Ha! Ha! Ha!
What Shelley Thinks: @#$%! it. It's too steep. I'll walk. Fast. No one will ever know.

0:35:00...
What John Thinks: Look out girl in green. I'm going to speed up and catch you.
What Shelley Thinks: Look out. Do not speed up. It's a trap. There's more up.

0:40:00...
What John Thinks: Caught you. Passed you.
What Shelley Thinks: If a cougar or a bear caught me, I would thank them.

0:45:00...
What John Thinks: Thank God. Finally around the end of the lake. Getting really tired. But almost home.
What Shelley Thinks: Why God?

0:51:55...
What John Thinks: Huh? The girl in green just passed me back. Oh well. She just had a baby half a year ago. Give it to her.

What Shelley Thinks: Huh? The girl in blue just passed me. WTF?  The guy running with her doesn't have a bib on. He's pacing her. Unbelievable. What is this? An Olympic qualifier????? CHEATERSSSS!!!

0:52:00...
What John Thinks: Done! What? Only 30 seconds more than last week. It felt good, even with the mountain climb.

What Shelley thinks: @#$%! I bet John's done... @#$%!  Last week I was done by now. @#$%!

0:57:00...
What John Thinks: Where is she?
What Shelley Thinks: Where is the @#$%ing finish line?

0:58:00...
What John Thinks: She's going to kill me.
What Shelley Thinks: I'm. Going. To. Kill. Him.

0:60:00...
What John Thinks: Hope she's OK.
What Shelley Thinks: I am not OK. I have a stitch! No. Make that two stitches! My knee hurts. No. That part's not true. I have blisters. Also, not true. Didn't a healthy 21 year old girl drop dead of a heart attack last week? For no reason?

0:62:00...
John: Way to go, Shelley! You finished so strong.
Shelley: ..........
John: Here's some water.

Shelley: ..........
John: Some muffins.
Shelley: ..........
John: Some fruit.
Shelley: .......... 
John: Good thing it didn't rain, right?
Shelley: .......... 
John: Hey, about next week's race.
Shelley: ..........
John: Too soon?

Shelley and John