Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Heat Wave on Vancouver Island? Give me a Break.

                                        
Hmmmmmm....a blog about a heat wave on Vancouver Island. That's a tough one, as today, June 26th,  it was only 18 degrees (64.4 fahrenheit). The last time we had a heat wave, in the Comox Valley, was in the summer of 2009. I remember it like it was yesterday. (Actually that's not quite true, so, there are definitely a few embellishments coming up...)


First night...
Shelley: Holy Crap! I can't sleep. It's too hot. Are you asleep?
John: Not now.
Shelley: Did you open the windows?
John: Yes.
Shelley: The doors?
John: Yes.
Shelley:.....
John:....
Shelley: That's it. Tomorrow we're buying fans.
Second night...
Shelley: Holy S@#$!!! I still can't sleep. It's still too bloody hot. Euhhh. The sheets are sticking to me. Can you believe we paid 60 dollars for each of those "top of the line," useless pieces of @#$ fans? John? John! Are you asleep?
John: Not now.
Shelley:..... 
John:....
Shelley: That's it. Tomorrow we're buying a ceiling fan.
Third night...
Shelley: Holy S@#$!!! I still can't @#$%ing sleep! It's too hot. I'm too sweaty, Can you believe we paid 400 dollars for that useless piece of @#$!! ceiling fan? That was money well spent. John? John! Are you asleep? 
John: Not now. 
Shelley:....
John:....
Shelley: That's it. Tomorrow we're buying a portable air con. unit.
Fourth night...
Shelley: Holy S@#$!!!  I haven't slept for three @#$%ing nights! It's too @!#$ing hot!!! There's water pouring off of me. Can you believe we paid 450 dollars for that useless piece of @#$!! portable air con. unit? And to top it all off, it sounds like a semi truck is roaring through our bedroom. John? John! Are you asleep?
John: Not now.
Shelley:....
John:.....
Shelley: That's it. We're buying the same kind of wall air con. units we have in Asia.
Fifth night...
Shelley: Holy S@#$!!! It's too @!#$ing hot!!! There's a pool of water under me. We should have paid the 3,500 dollars to put in the air con. But "Oh no" it's too expensive. So, here we are, in the @!#$ing living room, on a @#$ing air bed that has no @#$ing air, still sweating our @#$ing @!#$s off. You know what,  I don't care if we have to delay retirement to pay for it. I DON'T CARE IF THE HEAT WAVE IS SUPPOSED TO END TOMORROW!! I'M HOT!!! I CAN'T SLEEP!!!  THAT @#$%ING AIR CON. IS GOING IN TOMORROW!!! JOHN? JOHN! DON'T EVEN PRETEND TO BE ASLEEP!!
John:....
Shelley:....
John:...
Shelley:  Tomorrow. First thing.

Sixth Night...
Shelley: Holy S@#$!!! I can't sleep. It's too cold. John? John! Are you asleep?



Shelley and John