Showing posts with label weather damaged decks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weather damaged decks. Show all posts

Thursday, May 17, 2012

More and More and More Deck Tips

John: Arghhhh!!!!!!!!  Shelley! Look at the deck. The "guaranteed to last for years" stain is peeling off for the second year in a row! What are we going to do?
Shelley: That's it. I'm so done with staining that stupid deck. Let's put ceramic tiles on it.
Dad: Jeez. That's too bad. Maybe you'll have to stain the whole thing.
Mom: No. Just paint where it's flaking off.
Clerk #1: Not a clue. Can't help you. Sorry.
Shenley (Brother): Hmmm... while I think about it, know that you can use my belt sander, my hand sander, my high pressure water hose, my work horses, my electric drill, my battery drill...
Clerk #2: North West Coast BC weather on wooden decks... sucks eh?
Mom: Cover it with an indoor outdoor carpet.
Clerk #3: A sander should do it. But, not the industrial belt sander. The nails will rip the belt and that will cost you $800 to replace. What you need is a oscillating sander. We don't have those.
Clerk #4: Sorry, all out of oscillating sanders. Deck season.
Mom: Outdoor rubber flooring.
Clerk #5: Do not use a sander. It will take off the treated layer, then you'll have to prime it.
Dan (Nephew): I built most of that deck. BTW, I don't think I was paid enough.
Nephew Tyler (Nephew): You were paid!?!?  Why didn't anyone ask me to help? I would have helped.
Clerk #6: Try a high pressure water hose.
Woman in Clerk #6's store: Buy a stain stripper, a brush and use the water pressure hose to remove what's left. Then paint it.
Mom: Outdoor flooring.
Clerk #7: Whatever you do, do not use a high pressure water hose. It'll gouge the wood.
Neighbour who lives on our left: When you do something, you should do it right the first time.
Clerk #8: No matter how you take off the stain, you'll need to prime it.
Clerk #9: No need to prime it.
Woman walking her dog: Should have used composite flooring.
Marina (sister-in-law): We used the "lifetime guaranteed not to rot composite flooring." The wood underneath is probably rotting as we speak.
Deck Builder: Flip the boards.
4 year old neighbour who lives on our right: Those brown spots don't look good.
Andrew (son): Looks good enough for a nap. What'd you do?
John: OMG. We tried everything. But, ended up sanding and painting only the chipped areas.
Mom: What I'd tell you?


Shelley and John