How to Stay Happily Married Tip #4 Turn up the Heat

What a day. First a visit to Sedona, home of the Red Rocks,

Then we headed north........

to the Grand Canyon, the seventh Natural Wonder of the World. 

While hiking the southern rim of the Grand Canyon, we were blown away by how many people ventured off the trail, to climb on unprotected ledges, for the perfect shot. Of course, sane people, like the Smiths, wouldn't think of straying off the trail. 

If you look on the left, that's where people actually stood for pictures.

But now that we have spent another night in the high desert, at 6,467 feet, at minus 10 degrees celsius, I'm not sure how "sane" we really are.

11:00 last night........

John: Move over. I'm coming to bed. Ah! Ah! Ah! Holy S#$%! It's freezing. 

Shelley: Hurry! Hurry! You're letting the cold air in! 

John: Aieeee!! What the H#$% is that?

Shelley: My feet. They're cold.

John: Get them off me Shelley. 

Shelley: No. They're cold. I need to warm them up.

John: Go and put some socks on. 

Shelley: I will if you go get them for me. Otherwise...

John: Aieeee!! Jesus Christ Shelley. OK. OK. One.... Two.... Three....Ah! Ah! Ah! Lift the covers! Lift the covers!......... Pull down the covers! Pull down the covers! 

Shelley: John.

John:.....

Shelley: John!

John: What? For Christ sake, I'm trying to get some sleep.

Shelley: Can you do me a favour? I need to take out my contacts, brush my teeth and go to the bathroom.

John:.....

Shelley: John. Did you hear me?

John: Shelley. No. You'll still have to get up to use the bathroom.

Shelley: Puhlease. Please. Please. If you get my toothbrush and contact case, I  know I can wait until the morning......I'll let you put your feet on me.

John: Not going to happen. I'm toooo cold. 

Shelley: Fine. I can wait it out..... Hey, are you wearing your wool hat? Are you really that cold?

John: For the love of God, I'm trying to get some sleep. But yes I'm wearing a wool hat and yes I am really that cold.... I shouldn't have shaved my head last night, but the hair was getting in my eyes.

John and Shelley: Ha! Ha! Ha!

Shelley: Wow. I can see my breath.

John: This is the coldest I've ever been. Ever. You?

Shelley: I was colder at Lake Sai. But at least there were onsens and I had those heat packs plastered all over my body. It looked like I had some kind of freaky disease where the skin falls off you. 

John and Shelley: Ha! Ha! Ha!

John: OK. Turn off the light. Let's get some sleep. Ahhh!! Jesus Shelley! What are you doing???
Shelley: Kicking off the covers. I'm hot. Menopause John.
John: You're kidding. 
Shelley: Not at all. Warmest I've been in ages. Night. LOL!!

7:00 the next morning...

John: #%#$%#%ing @#$@$#ity @#$@#$ @#$@#$!!!!! THE #%#$%#%ingWATER PIPES HAVE #%#$%#%ing FROZEN!!!!! AGAIN!!!!! AND THE #%#$%#%$ing SEWER. BOTH OF THEM #%#$%#%$!!!!!!!

Shelley: (Still in bed) John, I'm not sure if this is a good time. But, I just thought about this. I know that the propane heat would have been expensive and not lasted the night, but why didn't we put the electric heat on? 

Shelley and John