IT Expert #1: (Perky) Hello. This is Karen. Thank you for calling. How can I help you?
Shelley: Hi. My name's Shelley and I'm calling to check if the internet's down in the neighbourhood.
IT Expert #1: One second, Shelley. No.
Shelley: Arghhh!
IT Expert #1: I can appreciate your frustration. Hang in there, as an IT expert, I can help you. Is your TV working?
Shelley: Yes.
IT Expert #1:Phone?
Shelley: Yes.
IT Expert #1: What kind of modem do you have?
Shelley: ____
IT Expert #1: Try plugging the modem directly into the computer.
Shelley:.........No... It still doesn't work.
IT Expert #1: Hmmmmmm.......Try running the following programs.
Shelley: .......... No.... It still doesn't work.
IT Expert #1: Hmmmm....... Are the lights on in the modem box?
Shelley: Yes. But one's flashing.IT Expert #1: That's the D link. Don't worry about the D link. The other ones are the important ones. ......hmmmmm......hmmmmm...... Shelley, I'm sorry, that's all I can do for you. I'm going to patch you through to IT Expert #2. Thank you for choosing us. We are available 24/7. Have a nice day.
IT Expert #2: Hello. This is Billy. Thank you for calling. How can I help you?
Shelley: Hi. My name's Shelley. My internet isn't working.
IT Expert #2: (Snippily) Repeat your name.
Shelley: Shelley.
IT Expert #2: Put your mouth next to the phone. I can't hear you.
Shelley: SHELLEY!
IT Expert #2: (Impatiently) You're yelling now?!?!
Shelley: Shelley.
IT Expert #2: Kelly. How can I help you?
Shelley: Shelley.
IT Expert #2: Shirley, the most important thing is the D link. Is the D link light flashing?
Shelley: Shelley..... But the IT Expert #1 said not to worry about it.
IT Expert #2: (Haughtily) Did she now? (Goes through the exact same procedure as IT Expert #1) .....hmmmmm......hmmmmm...... Michelle, that's all I can do for you. I'm going to give you the phone number to IT Expert #3. Thank you for choosing us. We are available 24/7. Have a nice day.
Shelley: Arghhhh! I just wasted an hour of my life....... I know this probably won't work, but....before I phone IT Expert #3......... I'm just going to unplug everything..... count to twenty.......... and........ plug it all back in........just to check if.......shit.
